One Big Sunshine Spritzer: May 2013

Reaching For Good Health...

2:24 PM

I am finally back again!

And this time I have plucked up the courage and written a post about what has been happening in my life for some time now - on the health front.

This post was not written to complain but to explain. An opportunity to get it all out of my head and record it.

Much of my life at the moment is a journey towards reaching good health and this space is a place where I share my life so here goes...

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Over the last 9 odd years I have had a slow decline in health. I have experienced many different symptoms over this time at varying degrees.

Lately, I seem to be un-well day in, day out which has taken its toll and the sole reason I haven’t been blogging. I haven’t been doing many things I would like to get done actually. But I soldier on – as any mother of 2 young children would I guess. The children don’t stop needing me so I must push on. This is hard and kind of an extra stress on my mind because I just want to be able to give my kids all they need without any struggle. But I do – struggle that is.

Let me give you a quick run-down. From the beginning.

Back in April of 2004, I had a pretty darn serious car accident.

BUT obviously I survived. And not only that, but I came out of it with only a tiny superficial cut on my scalp from a piece of lightly embedded glass and 3 small lacerations on my hands – total of 4 stitches needed. I was a Uni student at the time studying nursing (I was travelling back up to Uni this particular morning). I experienced some Post Traumatic Stress as a result of this.

Over the next few years, I experienced intestinal disturbances and some occasions of feeling ‘down’. I guess there were some occasions in my life at the time that brought on a little added stress such as: Planning and organising my wedding, doing a full time correspondence course with some practical application, casual shift work, adjusting to married life, the death of my Nan, and things like that.

Come along another couple of years, my Pop died and five days after that, my husband and I had our first baby. Eighteen months later, we moved interstate - Tasmania to Western Australia, 3000 odd kilometres from my family...my support system...and everything familiar. A little over a year later, we had our second daughter.

Now, apart from losing loved ones, these events are good ones. Getting married and having babies were each one of the happiest days of my life. I wouldn’t change a thing. And moving back to my hubby’s home state was exciting – an adventure. One that I thought I managed and coped with rather well. My body had different ideas.

Over the last 3 odd years I have experienced frequent nausea, intestinal disturbances, extreme bouts of tiredness, weakness and lethargy, muscle aches and pains, headaches, and pretty much feel like I have the flu 24/7. I have had blood tests upon blood tests – all pretty much clear with only slight abnormalities that weren’t particularly related to my symptoms. I adopted a gluten free diet with a small improvement and then I decreased my lactose intake which I think has also made a small difference. Recently I had a gastroscopy and colonoscopy which turned out ALL CLEAR. Great outcome, yes, but no solid explanation to what the heck is wrong with me.

At my doctor’s appointment, he concluded that with all tests coming up clear, he felt it safe to say he feels it is the likes of Fibromyalgia. I have been on some medication which we increased to see if that helps any further and it does actually help I think. I haven’t really had a solid good day of health since my scopes though with a nasty cough and blocked up sinuses. So it’s hard to exercise more and my sleep patterns are still a tad all over the shop! I am not experiencing as much nausea – just on occasion – but the hardest bit is the chronic fatigue. It is debilitating. Sometimes I can hardly walk let alone try and function normally.

I just want to be healthy. A vibrant, energetic Mum capable of keeping up with my kids. I push myself and do what I need to do to get by...feed my family, entertain my kids, get the important housework done. The last one suffers a little bit from time to time but it eventually gets done. I am not one that can just STOP. I like to keep rolling. If I complete what needs to be done quickly – I can then do something more fun, like craft or do some different activities with the kids. With my condition, it does become rather hard to fulfil those everyday, ordinary goals I have. But I am learning to take it slower, and STOP if need be, rest and let my body re-cooperate!

This all may seem a little dreary and depressing but it’s not all bad. I like to stay positive. I take photos of my everyday which reminds me that my life has good things in it even if my body feels bad. In my head and heart, I am ready to just go, go, go but my body just sometimes does not want to oblige. It’s frustrating but I know some others out there are going through things far more difficult than me so I don’t like to get too whiny and complain. I am still alive – I can be ultra thankful for that. And I do believe that things can get better. It will just take time. And I need to learn to be kind to myself and place some importance on me every once in a while. Not to be selfish, just necessary.

This post has probably come out of left field as I like this place, my blogging place, to be positive and uplifting. Sometimes, we only see the highlight reel, but today you are getting abit of the ‘in between’ moments. Sometimes life chucks us in the deep end and we’ve just got to wade through it the best we can.

And that’s what I’m doing. And I thought I would share this part of my current reality with you.

I hope my health allows me to come over to this little space a little more often from now on but I am not going to promise anything. I will just do what I can do, when I can do it. I have heaps of ideas and things to share but whether they get on here or not is another question at the moment.

Until next time, I hope your world is filled with happiness. I do believe that even on a tough day our lives can still get spritzed with a little bit of sunshine somewhere. And we can be thankful for something every day, big or small. I hold onto those things. I hope you can too.

And so for all those out there who silently suffer with an illness or condition that is hard for others to see - I hear you. I feel your pain. I understand.
Look up and keep reaching xx

With Sprinkles of Sunshine...

Anna